The John Report: WWE TLC 2009 ReviewI watched the show tonight. I posted thoughts all night on my Twitter and Facebook pages, so what I'll do here is post those collection of thoughts and maybe add a bit more where needed. It's not going to be that in depth, though. All matches will have ratings on the five star scale, of course. The announcers were Cole, Lawler and Striker.- Christian over Benjamin in 18 minutes to retain the ECW title. Great ladder spot with Christian hitting a frog splash onto Shelton, who was laying on a ladder to end it. The worst part of the match came when Christian suffered a legit cut and they had a medic come out to stitch him up. This never would have happened before WWE went to PG. And it's fucking lame. Still, a very good ladder match from two guys that said they'd steal the show and they did. ****<!--more-->- McIntyre over Morrison in 10 minutes to win the IC Title. Too short for my liking, but I assume we'll get a longer rematch. Morrison hit Starship Pain although he failed to get the win because McIntyre's foot was under the bottom rope. Then they did some spot with a belt, the ref threw it out, McIntyre hit a cheap shot to the eyes of Morrison (same thing he did to Finlay once) and hit his DDT for the win. Match was fine. The ref wasn't very good. **1/2Vince congratulated McIntyre. McIntyre did a quick interview when Sheamus told him that he wasn't going to be the only one leaving with gold.- McCool over James in 8 minutes to retain the Women's title. They gave the girls nearly ten minutes, which his nice especially considering that Michelle and Mickie are among the better workers within the diva division. Good chemistry and a physical match. Michelle won after a distraction from Layla. Mickie turned around and Michelle pinned her with a boot to the head. I'm cool with Mickie losing because, as I wrote in my predictions, the feud should continue. This was as good as any divas match this year. Maybe the best. I'm too tired to think of others. **1/2- Sheamus over Cena in 16 minutes to win the WWE Title. It was okay. I really dislike the tables match concept because they expect us to get excited about Cena jumping off the top rope onto the guy through a table when we all know it's not happening. And why not just pick the dude up with a bodyslam through the table? It's a silly gimmick. That's all. The match ended with Cena going to superplex him, but Sheamus shoved him off and John went crashing through. Too soon for Sheamus? Maybe, but at this point I expect the title to move around every PPV. Post match they had Cena sell how broken up he was about losing. Never mind that he has held the belt twice in the past two and a half months. I guess they'll be having a rematch, maybe as soon as Monday's Raw. **3/4- Undertaker over Batista in 15 minutes to retain the World Title. Batista won with a lowblow, then a chair to the head. Long came out, said the match isn't over due to the lowblow. Match restarts. I guess only chairs are legal, but anything else is illegal. That's the good thing about making up a match like a Chairs Match. Nobody knows the rules, so you can bullshit your way into a finish. Thirty seconds after the restart, Undertaker won with a tombstone clean. They've had better matches. I think a rematch at the Rumble is very likely. **1/2- Orton over Kofi in 13 minutes. I was excited about this one. They did this cool spot where Kofi hops to the top rope quickly, then leaps off the top to the floor and Orton hits a beautiful dropkick. There was a point when Michael Cole said: "There's a reason why Orton is a six time world champion." Of course there is Cole, it's because WWE books too many title changes. Orton won clean with the RKO. Let's hope for a longer rematch because this was fun. ***1/4- DX over Jericho in 24 minutes to win the Tag Titles. It was fine. They did some cool spots like DX picking up a huge ladder and suplexing it onto Jericho. Then they did a spotfest with HBK hitting the vintage elbow (yes he said it), Jericho's Codebreaker, Hunter's Spinebuster and Show's spear. Everybody was laid out and for some unknown reason Big Show beat up the ladder. He did the KTFO punch to HHH, who had a chair in front of his face. Show put Jericho on his shoulders and walked him under the ladders although not before Shawn got back up. He superkicked him and Jericho went flying over the top rope, jaw first into the table. I assume he was supposed to crash through it, but was unable to get far enough. Hunter ended up holding one half of a ladder straight while HBK climbed to retrieve the belts (they had two of them hanging there) for the win. Some of the spots were good. It was just okay for a TLC match. ***1/4To end the show Michael Cole said we've got two words for you: "Good night." What a tool. Somebody punch him. Please.- Overall, I'd give the show a solid 7 out of 10. Not a bad match on the show. There wasn't a true match of the year contender, but the Christian/Shelton match was the match of the night and there was some newsworthy happenings with Sheamus, McIntyre and DX all winning belts. If you saw it you probably enjoyed the show. Not a bad way to spend three hours as a wrestling fan. Unless you love John Cena, I guess.I'll be back tomorrow with the 2009 WWE Johnny Awards and then on Tuesday with The Raw Deal, which will feature WWE's Slammy Awards.Thanks for reading.